What to expect when you're no longer expecting...a book deal, that is.
I keep getting into conversations with people lately about what happens to your brain after the deal. Before I sold I thought that when you get a book deal, suddenly you are revising, talking to your editor, skipping into the sunset, petting kittens, smelling roses, and eating truffles all day.

Okay, that is an exaggeration, but I did think the happy cloud would last for a while. Most people don't sell a book and then go on a public angst binge. There is a sense that you can't complain about any aspect of selling a book when it was a dream you held for so long...a dream that at least half of your blog audience is probably still dreaming.

There was, indeed, a deep contentment that settled into my soul, paired with other wonderful emotions like hope, excitement, gratitude and wonderment. But some other emotions might pay you a visit. It's good to be prepared. I offer you a brief tour of some of what may hit you within the first few months.



--I'm going to get forgotten!/I can't live up to these expectations!
When you sell a book, you will generally fall into one of two categories: Your publisher paid a lot for you, they want to make a big launch, and you might be a lead title, OR, you seem to be kicking off with the mid-list and an average-to-middling advance for that house. If you're the former, you may worry that your book will totally bomb and your publisher will wonder what on earth they were thinking, and your future advances will plummet. If you're on the latter, you might worry that your publisher isn't paying much attention to you because they have bigger fish to fry. Either way, you are probably freaking out about reviews and reader reactions from almost the moment you say "yes", long before an ARC lands in anyone's hands. Even though the fate of your first book will not necessarily make or break your future books, it's easy to fear that it will...that EVERYTHING rests on this book.

--Um...did they forget about me?
After the whirlwind of activity and attention that comes with selling, some writers might start editing right away, but most will instead enter a dead zone. You won't hear from your agent or editor for weeks...and weeks...or months...and months... This is where the imagination gets overreactive. You might think they forgot you, they regret their decision, and you may notice events and timelines discussed at the beginning are slipping on by. Even after your friends console you, you might find yourself seeing your new editor's name on PM acquiring a new book and despairing that they now love THAT book 10x more than yours.

--The sky is falling!
This is the part where you think something this good can't possibly happen without something bad happening. Your family will be in a terrible car accident or your cat's getting sick. The entire economy is entering a depression and your publishing house will fold and never pay you and then you'll never sell a book again because no one will buy books anymore in the new era of doom we are entering, just before the world ends in 2012.

--It's lonely at the top.
You may lose friends when you sell, particularly if you sell for a lot. (Um, this hasn't happened to me thus far, I don't think I am that much of a superstar, this is just hearsay.) Even if you don't sell for a lot, you might find friendships drifting because you are in different stages. You might not know what to say to your unpublished friends sometimes when all you are thinking about is book-deal-book-deal-book-deal and they're still waiting on a partial request. Luckily, some of them will soon sell and join in the celebration, while you will drift back into other friendships soon enough when things settle.

--Mommy, I want to open the Christmas presents noooooow!
It takes a loooong time to get a check, even when things are moving fast. I don't write for money, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm living almost paycheck to paycheck right now and it's hard to wait. When I first sold, I was accepting of the fact that it would take time, but then I went through an annoyingly whiny phase where I wanted to spend money on everything and couldn't stand my job. Now I've calmed down a bit. Even if you didn't sell for a ton, many writers are poor and have been really hoping for a little financial relief from a book deal. You hate to complain when you could have easily just not sold a book at all...but the waiting's hard.

--Last but not least, it's hard to realize a dream.
You might have dreamed of being a writer since you were a wee thing. Even if the ambition struck in adulthood, it takes a heck of a lot of work and energy to write a book someone will buy. In my case, a writer was all I ever wanted to be my whole life. Sure, there were diversions into ideas like "actress", "librarian", "Miss America" or "cat massage therapist" (shut up, I was 8). But I always came back to writer. Books were one of the great loves of my life, nearly sacred objects, and I read my favorites literally to pieces. Selling a book I wrote is amazing beyond words, but with it comes a realignment of dreams.