Wit, Words, and Joie de Vivre

--I turned in my copy edits and the book went off to transform into ARCs. Yay!

--My agent read the first 15k of the mermaid book and my editor got a blurb of it, and I have the go-ahead to work on it for book 2. So, I guess, so far so good. I just slept it way late dreaming about it.

--My repetitive stress injury is still bothering me, which is 100% my fault. I keep going overboard as soon as it feels a smidge better. So I am now getting diligent and it's getting better again and I should stop typing this now and do stretches...

--I bought plane tickets to NYC for July 28th-30th. It will be my first trip ever where I'm not traveling with anyone or staying with anyone. I sort of wanted to travel alone once, I guess, kind of. I'm nervous, but I've been all over New York with my sister; I know it pretty well and I know people there, so it's a good way to stretch a bit.

I'm slightly sorry I ever posted on self-confidence when several posts popped up from different people that were sort of about how no one can be confident all the time, how every life has a dark side, etc.

I am NOT confident all the time. I am afraid to make phone calls or ask for directions. Sometimes I am even scared to call my own parents. I am a bundle of neuroses. I worry all the time about Dade's health or global warming, sometimes to the point nearly of tears or insomnia. But there was a point where my confidence shifted from being unsure of who I was, to owning my basic self, not hiding or apologizing for how I dressed or acted or what I believed.

Writing just isn't really high on the list of pervasive problems. Before I got an agent, there was fear I would never get an agent. Now there is fear I will fail and go back to a $7 an hour job until I die. (Well, or I guess until Florida minimum wage reaches $8 an hour.) But, I've always wanted to be a writer, so I nevertheless have always had a lot of trust that it will all be okay. I got my agent before my self-imposed 4-year deadline. No one's given me a hard-to-meet deadline or a bad cover, at least not yet! Right now, there just isn't much angst to talk about. That's why I don't really talk about the dark side of writing. I have plenty of fleeting worries, but nothing sticks.

But I do have general fear to go around. It would just be stupid to post about. Plus, I mostly think about it in the middle of the night when I'm not blogging.

Frankly, I don't blog much anymore because my life *is* happy and *so* ghastly dull to anyone but myself. Even my food news has been sort of lacking since I left Chamberlin's.

So, this week m_stiefvater had a great post about self-confidence that everyone has been talking about. One thing she mentions is that she just decided to develop self-confidence around 19 or 20 or something.

I kind of did the same thing. Not that I threw a magic confidence switch, but here is a portrait of me at 18: long hair, t-shirts and jeans, shy, quiet, unsure of what I wanted from life. I disappeared into the world of my characters because THEY had awesome lives. I mean, except for being blinded, maimed, and losing family members in horrible ways all the time. Plus some torture and accidental time-traveling and...okay, nevermind. Anyway, they were all well-dressed and fascinating with cool hangouts, cool friends, cool hobbies...

It was shortly after this that I discovered this man:



Hell, even if you don't like David Bowie's looks or his music, you have to admit the dude's had an interesting life. Bowie led me to poke into the lives of more rock stars and then other artists, writers, etc. through history who were characters themselves. Like Tasha Tudor, who loved the 1830s and largely recreated an 1830s life for herself.

It was then I realized that some people ARE characters. And they aren't necessarily born into it. They create it. I wondered why I let my characters have all the fun. I always loved playing dress-up with vintage clothes as a child, but I never wore vintage clothes in public because people around here just don't DO that.

I made a vow to myself, to the soundtrack of "Queen Bitch" and "Virginia Plain", that I would not wait for a reason to dress up. I would not wait for other people to do it. I think this was the moment I came into my own as an adult. I owned who I was. It wasn't just about clothes, even if it started there, it was about realizing I don't have to follow the status quo unless I want to. It means if I want to focus on my writing, skip college and be poor, I don't care if you roll your eyes at me. I'm doing what I want to be doing, not what you want me to be doing.

The only hard part of sticking to my own path was the loneliness. But at that retreat in Savannah, I realized, I am a rock star. I was there in the moment I dreamed of--with my fellow rock stars, brilliant funny free-thinking people with artistic passion. And I'm not sure I would have ever gotten there if I hadn't become a rock star long ago, before hardly anyone believed I was one.

Okay, I finally managed to get this picture to upload successfully to Flickr.

My cover!!!! Yayyy!!! SO pretty!! The dress is Gaultier!!! I would sleep with this picture under my pillow. If I had a color printer. My laser printer just won't capture the full magic of those luscious warm colors...

I want to go to NYC. I miss it! I want to meet my editor, and go to the Strand, and eat the amazing food that only NYC can offer, and that sort of thing. But I don't really want to be ALONE there.

So if you are planning on going to NYC this summer after July 4th and want to hang out or possibly even split a (Priceline) hotel, or you live in or around NYC and want to hang out, or if you are aware of anything writerly and awesome going on in NYC along the lines of the Teen Author Carnival or whatever, let me know the whens and hows and I will see what I can plan...

Also, I have a cover image to show very very soon!

I'm in Savannah now. We're sitting around the table, laptops open all over the place. I still can't type much because I screwed up my arm racing to the revision finish line while trying to recover from a repetitive stress injury, BUT, I ordered voice recognition software and it should be waiting for me when I get home.

(People keep asking me if I can write by voice, and I'm 95% sure the answer is YES! because I read all my work aloud to Dade many many many times and it sounds sort of like a pretend game with myself. Which would be cool. But I guess I'll find out when I get home.)

I am not sleeping much. I have seen almost nothing of Savannah, but the house is fantastic. My brain is just buzzbuzzbuzz all the time! It won't rest!

I need to charge up the poor laptop now, so that is all! But when I get home there will be pictures.

Phew! Life is a bit insane right now, but good. I'm just posting an update on various things.

--I turned my revision in on time and my editor emailed that she was loving it, so all's well there! My worries were for naught.

--I got my author photos done and I will show them off soon!

--I had a nice time with mom + sisters in Asheville. What a cool city, amazingly environmental with amazing food. (Highlights were the scrumptious veg lunch at the Laughing Seed and scones from the farmer's market: Pear nutmeg and apricot ginger, both with large chunks of fruit and the taste of real butter.) My parents want to move up there so my mom was up there to look at a house. I really liked the house and the area so I'll be curious to know how that goes.

--In Asheville I introduced myself to the people who rang me up at the small children's bookstore there, and Malaprops, Asheville's lovely indie. Super nice store. The YA section is great and the girl I talked to sounded enthused, gave me her card and said she writes reviews for the Malaprops magazine. I'm SO impressed by their magazine. She interviews Charles Vess in it and everything. A couple people have asked me how to introduce myself to bookstore people, which is a little funny to me because I am usually shy! But I love book people and I never have any trouble talking to people at indies. I always browse, buy something, compliment the store (this has never not been genuine of course!) and then tell them I'm a writer with a book out from Bloomsbury next year. I also usually complain about Orlando and its lack of many indie bookstores and how happy I am to be here in an indie bookstore.

--I got an email from my editor while I was in Asheville about Magic Under Glass's cover; I am probably not supposed to talk about it so I won't, but let me just say it sounds like it will be AWESOME.

--Now I must get back to prepping for Savannah... When I get back, I swear I am going to stay at home and write a lot for the rest of June! I miss writing very much! Of course, it's only been two weeks since I was working on my edits, but it feels like a century.

My mom invited me on a trip to Asheville, NC with my sisters tomorrow through Sunday. So I am going because my wrist is all "rawr, need real rest!" and also I will have less BEA-envy. Sooo I will be unavailable until Monday. Not that anyone will miss me much because I haven't typed a lot with a healing wrist anyway!

(x-posted everywhere so people know why I don't answer their email.)

Looks like I can finally talk about this, even though it's kind anticlimactic as a secret because, well, Savannah is not anywhere near as impressive as an Irish castle. I'm not sure anyone will top that until they book a private island or a Tuscan vineyard.

But, on the bright side, writers retreat: Now with less jet lag, more moss!

In two weeks, I will be spending five nights (and somehow, like 4 days, thanks to wonky train schedules) in Savannah, GA with the lovely Maggie Stiefvater, Jackson Pearce, Tessa Gratton, Brenna Yovanoff, Carrie Ryan, Linda Joy Singleton, Heidi Kling and Dawn Metcalf!

We're staying here:



It looks small to contain the awesomeness, doesn't it? You try finding a house to sleep nine people that everyone agrees on that isn't taken.

Hopefully my stupid wrist is allll better so it's not just everyone else writing and me feeding them.

So, in April and early May, when I hurt my wrist and elbow, I couldn't write much, and I had to do--OTHER THINGS. Things I couldn't type about because my wrist was hurt. For one thing, Melissa Marr and Jennifer Lynn Barnes were at MY Borders! And I do mean mine. It's the Borders in the town where I grew up and I worked at the mall across the street for eight years. There are a lot of Borders in this town, so I'm glad they hit that one.

Some adult UF authors were there too: Mark del Franco, Rachel Vincent and Jeaniene Frost, and I felt bad that I didn't get books for them to sign too because they were all nice. They did a pretty long panel--long enough that my ass ACHED in those lousy Borders chairs--and I was relieved to see a good turn-out. I know people DO read YA in Orlando, because a lot of the good stuff is always checked out of the library, but...I never see these elusive beings called "readers" out and about.

"I'm so glad some people in Orlando read," I said softly to Dade.
"We're from Tampa!" the woman standing next to me said. "We drove two hours to get here."

Well, so maybe they were ALL from Tampa for all I know. But they were, at least, there.

The whole gang:


Me and Melissa:


Me and Jen:


I didn't get to talk to anyone much, since there were a lot of people there, but I can say they were both very sweet and Melissa let me pick which court band I wanted. (Winter Court, if you're curious. I have such an affinity for, well, winter...)

The other thing I did was buy Dade and myself seasonal passes to Disney. I'm not sure why this never occurred to me the second I got my advance. I'm always complaining that there's nothing to do in Orlando. But there is one HUGE thing that people save for years to do, right in my backyard. Ish.

WDW is one of the places you love or hate. I happen to love it. There are, of course, childhood memories involved, and if smell is the sense of nostalgia, the smell of Disney rides hits me like a time machine. (If you've never ridden on one, they have this definite odor, sort of like brackish water, dust, and...magic.)

There is also plenty of kitsch. They're trying their best to ruin Epcot, but there's still glimpses of that fantastic early 80s vision of the future THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. Plus, over in the Magic Kingdom, It's a Small World was originally created for the '64 World's Fair, and while you do have to put up with the song, where else can you pretend you're at the '64 World's Fair? (Well...so maybe this isn't a priority for you.)

So let me know if any of you come to Disney and want to say hi at the parks. Just not from June 6th-August 13th, the week of Christmas/New Years, or whenever the heck Spring Break is. Because I am cheap and bought tickets with blackout dates, but also because I think you have to be crazy to go to Disney then...

I was going to do a post about mothers in my writing, but m_stiefvater beat me to the idea.

But maybe this is for the best, because I started thinking of some of the mothers in my stories.

Nimira's mom: Dead
Hollin's mom: Dead
Erris's mom: Dead
Annalie's mom: Dead
Alan Dare's mom: Dead
Det's mom: Dead (And not just dead, but KILLED. Bonus points.)
Stan's mom: Evil
Leo's mom: Missing
Leslie's mom: Neglectful and mean
Syri's mom: Dead (giving birth to him. More bonus points!)
Anubis's mom: He's a rag person with no parents.
Rupert's mom: Preoccupied
Pernillia's mom: Dead

ALFRED, YOU CALL YOUR MOM AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER. (There's..*cough*...no telling how long she'll live, is there?)

(My wrist and elbow are finally feeling better, yay!)

I'm late to this, but Sarah Cross made a great and hilarious post last week about her first novel and why you shouldn't freak out if you don't get published as a teenager.

I was one of those kids who really wanted to be published as a teenager. I was naturally full of seething jealousy for every teenager who was published. In retrospect, I'm glad I wasn't published as a teenager just so I didn't have to deal with a silent army of seething me-types hating me.

Naturally, once I left my teen years, my goal was to be published by age thirty. And I made it! I'll be 28 when my debut releases. But there is still an occasional nagging pang when I see people getting published at, say, 24. I think it's because there's this sense that maybe I wasn't good enough to get published at 24 and they were.

If you've ever suffered this momentary pang, take a deep breath with me. It doesn't matter, does it? When I think of my favorite authors of all time, I couldn't even tell you how old they were when their first book came out, or when the book of theirs I love best came out. When genius goes onto the page, it doesn't matter. Just worry about that. (Well, except don't worry TOO much. That's another pile of different angst, isn't it?)

Moreover, I think when we focus too much on superficials like age or wealth, it's the first step to closing ourselves off to what others have to teach us.

And do look at Sarah's post if you missed it! It made me do that laugh I get that sounds like some kind of squawking bird or hinge in need of oiling.

Ugh. I totally failed at my intended revisions goal today. Am peeved at self. I just got back from vacation, you know, and I had to read everything I already did to re-orient myself and that took hours, and what else took hours was a simple trip to the farmer's market and grocery store due to circumstances that would be far too boring to explain.

Oh well. I don't have much going on in days to come, so I can make it up.

I'm trying to eat more local food. Literally about 15 minutes before we left for the airport, my mom pointed out that there was a loquat tree in our condo parking lot laden with ripe fruit. I had never had a loquat before, but I picked one right then and ate it and I tell ya, it was DELICIOUS. I was all geared up to harvest it when I got home, but someone beat me to the punch. And boy did they ever. There was not a single loquat to be found, not on the highest branch. I mean, maybe the person who picked it was the person who planted it to begin with, years and years ago. I hope so. I don't want to STEAL the loquats, but they were just there growing away in the parking lot...now I'm sad.

So, it's back to greens, greens, and tangerines, which is what's around right now... Winn-Dixie has Florida blueberries this week, so that's some excitement. Not that I'm totally sticking to the local thing, but I'm trying to make *at least* 50% of my fresh produce local, 50% organic (overlap is likely and encouraged), and 0-5% from outside North America. It'll be even more awesome if I learn to garden. Right now I have beans growing. I don't really know how to help them, but every day I walk out and they're still THERE, so it's something.

But I can't give up my imported Italian Pomi tomatoes right now. I'm so sorry, world.

Also, best thing ever this week: High Country Wild Root kombucha. It's like, root beer flavored. It's like root beer for health nuts. OMG. I wish I knew how to make it taste like this. Damn you, expensive kombucha addiction!!

I'm back! I had a great time although few of the things I wanted to do were done, as far as attractions and eateries. That's okay. Plans are just there in case you need them. Brief trip recap:

--I totally saw snow! I touched snow! When it was first falling, we thought it was tree blossoms scattered on the wind, and when it kept coming, it was like, OHHH wait a minute. That evening we drove to Grantsville, MD, about twenty minutes west of our hotel, past snow-covered mountains and fields, and dined on hearty Amish/Mennonite food. I had smoked sausage with dried corn and fried potatoes and a very nice salad with strange-but-tasty pickled relishy/sauerkrauty things on it. The next morning we drove up a mountain where I built a wee snowman.

--I went to The Children's Bookstore in Baltimore, MD, introduced myself, and hopefully didn't sound too stupid or babble too much. Very nice people, very nice store with an offbeat selection. Indie bookstores are so fun. I wish we had something decent in my area. I bought a stack of books from them. I also went to the B&N at the Inner Harbor where m_stiefvater recently signed and resisted the urge to point at her signed books and loudly declare that I know her. I also went to a nice little bookstore in Annapolis, of the cluttered-stacks-run-by-an-old-British (or maybe Irish actually?)-man variety. Who doesn't love those?

--I finally met more of Dade's family. Although they were mostly third cousins or once-removed cousins or something, everybody was SO NICE and welcoming. A very artsy crowd, too.

--We had the best dining experience in Neopol at the Belvedere Market. Neopol specializes in smoked food. Smoked everything. They had smoked hummus that was just like...transcendent. We shared some smoked salmon, then I had a smoked chicken sandwich with apples, gouda and gruyere, and then we got this cheese pie with smoked fruit and vegetables on top (smoked oranges!) and smoked sausage inside. DEAR GOD. It was the most indulgent delicious thing ever...buttery crust, delicious cheese. Did I mention the sausage was local too? Somehow after all this we still had room so we had desserts in another corner of the market. Chocolate orange almond flourless torte. So good, and Dade's passion fruit cheesecake was amazing from the bite I tried and I don't even like cheesecake.

--Sigh. I love Maryland. Now I really want to move.

And now, I must go and restock my larder.

Sunday in Orlando is supposed to be a high of 89 degrees. Tuesday when we arrive in western MD it's forecasted to SNOW.

Snow!!! OMG, I hope this is true. Oh please oh please oh please. I haven't seen snow in 20 years. And that was the only time.

In other news, I feel like an idiot because I booked part of our vacation in western Maryland so we could ride the scenic tourist train, only to find out that it doesn't run in April. Whoops.

But if I get to see snow it will all be worth it. Snow and mountains! At the same time! My eyeballs might explode!

All through many many drafts of Magic Under Glass, I never felt as connected to the love interest as I wished to be. I tried as hard as I could. I did free-writing, I filled out questionnaires in his voice, I tried thinking of him as I went to sleep, but I never could entirely connect. I thought maybe it was even the Victorian voice or something, creating a little natural detachment, or maybe the weird nature of his creation (he started as two different characters I later merged into one).

I guess not. I had a dream about Erris about 4 days ago. I was very much in his head, receiving a sudden flood of his mental state at the end of Magic Under Glass.

Sometimes I have dreams like that and the feeling quickly fades, but nah, Erris has been hanging out, offering me his opinions, so I've had to scribble some of them down, like,

"You must understand, I don’t just dislike Hollin Parry because of the way he treated me. It also so happens that he behaves like, as we would say back home, dried sap on a tree."

Dried sap on a tree...? That's definitely from him because that isn't anything I would have made him say before.

Now I'm looking forward to getting the edits on MUG just have a good excuse to spend some time with him. I feel like, aww, Erris, I've known you for awhile but never really KNOWN you until now.

Man, I am hankering for a love story. I've been prowling Amazon for an hour looking for something good...not trashy, but not so highfalutin' that it loses the fun. It could be either intimate or epic. I like my heroes to have some angst but also some lightheartedness or humor. Or the unflappable guy who is, uh, flapped? by love. Fantasy, historical, paranormal, contemporary, mystery, YA or adult, straight or gay/lesbian, I don't care what the genre is as long as it's good. Oh, and please, no CHEESY sex scenes unless the rest of the book is really amazing.

And no unhappy endings, for heaven's sake. I keep finding books that sound good and then I read that they're all tragic or unrequited. NOOO.

Some love stories I liked:
Jane Eyre
Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters
A True and Faithful Narrative by Katherine Sturtevant
Graceling by Kristin Cashore

I'm currently reading Dorothy Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane novels that a few of you recommended, which seem promising thus far, but I'm looking ahead, and I'll probably hit some amply-stocked bookstores in Baltimore so it's a good time to get some ideas.

EDITED TO ADD: I know some of you may have asked similar-ish questions on your LJs before, so if any of you have an old thread you could link me to, that would also be awesome.

--I thought romance was supposed to be relatively easy to write (I do emphasize the 'relatively', though), but this mermaid book, which is probably closer to a romance than anything I've ever done, is kicking my ass. It's not that I actually dislike writing it. I love the characters and have had them in my thoughts more consistently than I did writing Magic Under Glass. But I just can NOT for the life of me seem to top 1000 words a day on this book, and it takes ages for me to even get that much out, even when Terribly Exciting Things are occurring. I procrastinate a lot instead.

--Speaking of procrastination, I just joined blip.fm, which is sort of like Twitter for music, just music. I might get bored of it soon, but then again, I might not. It's a pretty fun diversion. I'm FabFrock there, if anyone wants to join up and friend me. It's fun to post my characters' playlists.

--Speaking of trendy things like Twitter, I feel bad saying this, because I probably say many things that annoy people too, and I don't want to dictate how people talk, but what is with the word "fail"? Why is this the most popular word on the internet now? I seriously can't go for one page of LJ or Twitter without someone using this word and it is starting to make me twitch. (Runner-ups for the most popular word on the internet seem to currently be "nom" and "RPattz".)

--Speaking of RPattz, I roped a friend into watching Twilight with me tomorrow. Finally. And I am recreating my coconut milk feast of a couple weeks back. (Dade, if you read this, I got the feeling you were never that into watching Twilight with me, but if I'm mistaken I'll just have to watch it twice.)

--Speaking of Dade, we're going to Maryland in 11 days! YAY. A vacation!

--Speaking of vacations, I have been suffering from paranoia that have no money. It's so weird not to have a regular paycheck. Everytime I check my bank account I break into a sweat because I think it's suddenly gonna say $300.

Today I got up early, all set to go to the Farmer's Market. I had my cloth bags, I'd read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, I was PUMPED, man.

We tried the Longwood Farmer's Market. Alas, there was only one booth of produce. And what do I see but bananas, pineapples, mangos, apples, plums...aka THINGS THAT DO NOT GROW HERE RIGHT NOW IF AT ALL. They had some local produce, but I was disgruntled. The other booths sold honey, flowers, banana bread and empanadas. Not what I needed.

Undeterred, we went to Winter Park. Which was packed with people. We had to pay for parking. I was starting to get the feeling there was more going on than the farmer's market. Sure enough, the sidewalk art festival is going on, so we trudge ages down the road through masses of humanity to the locale...nada. No market. Woe and despair.

But, things looked up. We ran into Dade's friend Dave and looked around with him for a long time. Usually art festivals don't really offer anything that grabs me by the brain and begs me to buy it, but then I came across Marina Terauds, a printmaker with beautiful art, reminiscent of old world fairy tale illustrations...birds, women, bookplate art...mermaids. The more I looked, the more I thought, I must buy something to hang at my desk. As soon as I found this one, I knew it was The One:

( Woman in a shell, cut for size )

But now, looking at her website...wow, I want more! For instance, for her print "Dreams", this is the text: "In my mind I have seen an imaginary girl who wants to be free and wishes that she had the grace to fly with the birds. Unfortunately earth’s gravity restricts her. But she can always take refuge in a dream and be cloaked with her avian friends."

I've always had vivid flying dreams, and one of the aspects of Esmerine the mermaid's character is that she wishes she could fly like the winged folk... Sigh. I love when an artist can put to image the things in my head.

Yesterday was Dade's birthday so we went down to south Orlando (ugh) so he could go to the Lego store. Plus I needed some things from IKEA. I'd also heard there was an ethnic food store somewhere around IKEA, so with a little Googling, I located International Food Club, in a oddly nice-but-warehousey area not from from the IKEA store.

Whoa. What fun. AND it just so happens that everything in 10% off on Mondays. The place is already cheap! I shoved aside a little nagging guilt, as I've been reading ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, MIRACLE, all about local food, and here I am loading up on stuff that made a long trip here. Ah well. I just grabbed stuff to try, and I'm sure some will be good and some bad.



--Some kind of goulash sauce in a jar
--Organic falafel chips (I tried these already...OMG yum)
--Polish cookies of chocolate covered gingerbread with strawberry filling
--Israeli chocolate cookies
--Cadbury oat chocolate chip cookies
--Red cabbage and apples in a jar (Polish?)
--Organic roasted chestnuts
--Curry powder
--Ajwan seeds for Indian cooking
--Two Greek veggie ready-made meals
--"Persian raisins"--they look like my favorite expensive Hunza raisins, so I'll give them a try
--Kinder Happy Hippos, one of the most brilliant candies ever
--Six other British and German chocolate bars

This was all $36. Woohoo!

You can see the corner of Dade's new Lego pirate ship in the background. ^_^ I also got a desk and chair at IKEA. I need a comfy work space come summer when the heat drives me off of the porch, alas.